Bangkok Football Nights

(Important rule: ALWAYS talk nice about the Thai Royal Family. It is not just deeply insulting to talk in a bad way about their Monarchs, but it can also mean a direct way into prison. Thai people take their monarchy very seriously. Also, people usually kiss (KISS!) banknotes that accidentaly touched the ground, since all of them depict the Royals...)

YOU NO GO

The relationship between foreigners (especially people from Western countries) and Thai females is often subject to discussion...

It is Sunday afternoon. I am already at Bangkok airport to catch my flight with Tiger Airways to Singapore, approaching the security check right before my gate. Two female Thai securities are waiting on my side of the barrier, already smiling at me as I walk down the alley towards them.

Me: ‘Hello!’
Thai female security: ‘Hello Sir! How are you?’
Me: ‘I’m very fine, khorb koon kab (-Thanks-)! And you?’
Thai (brighter smile): ‘Very good! You like Bangkok? Come back soon?’
Me: ‘Sure! Your country is very beautiful.’
Thai: ‘What you like about Thailand? You also like Thai Ladies? Very beautiful?’

(Please keep in mind here that there are two guards with guns standing not too far away. It takes me a second to comprehend…big smile and look directed at me, her colleague starts to giggle while concealing her mouth with her right hand)

Me: ‘Well, you’re right! Thai Ladies are really nice! Very good-looking!’
Thai female security: ‘Have nice body, nice face, right? You have Thai girlfriend?’

(Very direct...hm.I take off my belt and German army boots and put them on the conveyer belt together with my backpack and cell phone. The Lady stops my backpack before it reaches the scanner and pushes it back to me. Her look is serious now, no smile. I ignore the last question for the time being.)

Thai (suddenly): ‘YOU NO GO!’
Me: ‘Pardon?’

(I am a tad confused. Usually, Thai Ladies ALWAYS smile during a conversation. Did they think they found a bomb in my boots? Bummer. )

Thai (still serious): ‘You like Thai Lady. You no go! You must stay! No go to Singapore’

(The three also female securities on the other side of the security gate look at me as if I am a crook, apparently not understanding what’s going on. I smile at the surreal scene, delighted to have this VERY typical conversation at a high security checkpoint at the airport with about 10 people behind me.)

Me: ‘Hey, I’d love to stay! But no choice for me here. Thailand is great, but I NEED to work tomorrow. Do you understand? I can come back though..’
Thai (having my backpack firmly in her hands): ‘You promise come back! Next week?’

(I look at her. She seems more serious than I thought. The way she tries is reminiscent to uncountable, similar and unpreventable occasions during the last two days in Bangkok.)

Me: ‘I might be back soon, but not next week! Is that still OK for you?’

(She does not seem to be satisfied, but has to give way to me. I grab my backpack and put it on the conveyer belt, while she does not move away one inch. I smile at her a last time and go through the barrier…apparently disappointing them. I grab my stuff and smile back a last time. The Thai Lady still watches me from the other side with a look that I just could not interpret.)

The weird thing here was not that the conversation happened in the first place (that is almost standard small-talk-lingo), but the mere fact I was facing guns and Thai Ladies at the same time did not really make me feel comfortable...;-)

(This is not a specific Thai way of drinking. I was deeply surprised in Singapore 8 months ago, when someone handed me a coffee in a plastic bag (and straw!) for the first time. But well, one gets used to everything. It is useful however, to be more inventive in finding ways of 'placing' the bag somewhere, especially in an office environment!)

GERMANY IN SEMI-FINAL!!

One of the best purchasing decisions recently was to buy a DFB Jersey (see TWO pictures below). A total ripoff of course for the price of 64,50€ (as this is what you pay for a full custom tailored suite in Bangkok) and not much surplus value in Germany, but it payed off fabulously in the Thai capital. As soon as I set my foot in an Irish pub on Friday night to watch Argentina lose, I was loudly acclaimed as the only German present and given a premium seat in front of the TV...That's how it ALWAYS should be ;-) Well, the broadcast was with Thai commentary...at least I could distinguish the German names by hearing.

And having a beer for roughly 2 Euros and a meal for about the same price lets even my student wallet stop crying in agony.

(It's FOOTBALL time! The 'World Trade Center' in Bangkok hosted one of the biggest public viewings..England vs. Portugal was about to begin here. What you see above is the comedy warmup for the masses. As you can see, this is done quite explicitly in an appetising way. What a bummer that I could not understand ONE joke. Not sure if they would get a PG-rating in Europe though..)

Going home to my hostel around 1am turned into a triumphal walk...somehow every street stall owner, cook, clothe seller seemed to now about the result, smiled and screamed 'GERRRMANY WIIN!' in my direction (of course also as a way to approach me for a possible sale). One Thai Lady even showed me her 'Deutschland'-armband and tried eagerly to trade it against my Jersey. Nice try. All in all, the Thai people are surprisingly Football-crazy, considering they don't really have a big history in this sport!

(Toilet paper as a tissue in a normal restaurant...nothing unusual)

And by the way, I found it also VERY interesting that a particular Thai Lady always cheered 'GEEEERMAAANYY' during the game France vs. Brazil (2-4am on Sunday!) and she wouldn't listen to anybody who tried to correct her. Apparently, she did not get the fact that 'Les bleu' where in white jerseys that night..or she just loved my home country ;-)

Maik

(Pineapple rice...absolutely YUMMY! Boiled rice, pineapple pieces, some meat, cashew nuts and spices. Got hungry??)