How to effectively prevent household mishaps

(This Wednesday, the so-called Chinese ghost month started...a traditional Chinese festival that is usually celebrated on the first and the last nights of the 7th lunar months. The offerings that can be seen on the picture as well as the burnt 'hell money' are supposed to help pleasing the ghosts and spirits that come out of the lower world to visit earth that very day...)

DO YOU BELIEVE?

Last week, I met the owner of the condo apartment I currently live in for the first time. He moved to Shanghai only recently to join his girfriend there and just rented out the place to my flatmate and me. I was already told earlier that some of the items in the apartment are basically off limits and should not be touched, let alone moved. Hmm...why, you ask? They are at the same time carefully placed items according to Feng Shui laws, which I already outlined to some degree at the last post. At least I'd like to portray the more visibile results of the 800$ worth consultation that has been conducted by a local Singaporean Feng Shui Master in my apartment.

Well, I do not quite believe in superstition and directing the flow of chi with coins, bricks, flutes, vases and plants is really not the first thing that would come up my mind while moving into a new place. However, I generally try to understand motivations for certain actions here in Asia and although many people shake their heads when they hear about Feng Shui, it is apparently still an integral part of a good number of building projects not only in China, but also in Singapore. The application of Feng Shui (which means the careful placing of artifacts and application of certain 'rules' regarding the architecture and the alignment of buildings) follows more of a practical wisdom: If I cannot be absolutely sure that it is total nonsense, why don't I just pay the little money and arrange a few things in my flat in a certain way and thereby eliminate the residual risk and enjoy a good night sleep?

INFLOW OR OUTFLOW?

Unfortunately, the depicted door above is not a very supportive one for the successful and healthy wallet development. Actually, one should stay away from this one, because as a 'TIGER'-door it lets money flow out of the flat. How lucky the family must be just opposite our flat, since their 'DRAGON'-door enables them to collect just the money that flows out of our apartment. How to differentiate? It is dependent on the way the door opens from the outside. If it does to the left, you are facing the purring felidae. Luckily, the Feng Shui Master found a countermeasure by suggesting to place a red brick in a box just behind the door (within the red marked circle). Good. I am not sure what a superstitious insurance would have said if we missed out on placing that brick and were subsequently robbed ("So sorry Sir...but isn't it obvious that your little Tiger has been toasted by a greedy Dragon...?")

THE EVIL KITCHEN

According to Feng Shui, every apartment is divided into 9 equally sized squares and each of them does stand for a different meaning. The Feng Shui Master would have been really horrified by my uninformed decision to place the fruits I bought just at the marked corner next to the sink. Why? The architect of the flat must have a had pretty bad taste of placing the kitchen in square 5, which is the one to avoid, because it means bad luck. The Master apparently even had some kind of gauge which enabled him to easily identify not the cause (it is unpreventable) but the centre of the evil kitchen spirit. Of course, the place where I used to store my fruits happened to be the very spot that radiates the most bad luck and should therefore not be used for anything (except for some countermeasure of course...some small vase filled with grains I could not identify...not to be seen on the pic)

A HOME FOR MY WALLET

Where there's darkness, there also has to be some light. So despite the actual fate of coping with a TIGER-door and an evil kitchen, there is still hope, especially to be found in the Wealth-spot just between window and TV. Some Chinese are quite superstitious with numbers and even pay horrendous amounts of money to purchase mobile phone numbers that contain as money 6s and 8s as possible (the literally deadliest choice would be 4, since the chinese expression 'si' for four resembles the word for death). So there is no wonder that there are exactly 6 flowers with 8 leafs on the upper level, which is also placed exactly 68 inches above the ground. The flowers have therefore no specific meaning, they just stand for luck. The ship below is directed to the inside of the apartment; it carries wealth back from the sea into the home port (and is therefore very welcome). Why not place the ship on top? No clue...one might have to ask the Master. I wonder if it helps to place the piggy bank on the glass table just below..

WATCH OUT!

According to the Feng Shui Master, the placement of AirCons just above doorways all over the aparment is a complete failure. Everytime one walks through, one has to expect that the own soul is sucked directly into the device. Atrocious imagination, but at least my soul won't have to sweat in hell then..:-) It is also quite relieving that one can remedy this threat easily by placing a specially blessed coin inside the Aircon. If all things in life were just that easy..

DON'T LET THEM SLICE YOU UP

The picture above partly shows the not-so-pretty view from my master bedroom. Just try to guess for a minute what the attached stripes could be there for before reading on..
Well, one can see that other building's corner apparently points directly into my room. The obvious effect is that it slices me up, splits me in two parts which of course cannot be too healthy...When and how this could happen I don't know, but the remedy is already in place and therefore guarantees my undisturbed good night sleep. The three stripes do not stand for 'san' (which means the number 3 in Mandarin), but are a Chinese symbol for wood. Hence, both my windows have been fortified with thick wood and block the vicious corner that tries to find it's way into my home and castle. No chance! I just forgot to ask what would happen if I opened the windows...do I have to wear a helmet?

Ok..enough with Feng Shui for time being. I will try and see if it has some effect on me on one way or another. But how could I know anyway? I have no way to compare..maybe it does at least limit household accidents, but then it is a very bad sign that the kitchen had to reveal its evil nature...

A confused Maik

(Please note that it is not allowed to carry any Durians on the MRT-Trains, but there is no fine for doing so..Isn't that weird? Looks like the Singaporean officials have to conduct some Realpolitik here. And last but not least: Think twice before letting yourself being seen peeing in a lake. The fine may involve 5000$ (~2500Eur), as well as 1 year of prison and 3 canings)

Edit (06.08.2006): The fine for peeing in a lake is not just 5.000$ but 10.000$. And no, I did not commit it to find out ;-)